Hullo Internet. I couldn’t think of a way to combine the words angst and rage (RANGST just sounds stupid, sorry), so you don’t get an intro this time.
Where the hell are gamer chicks?
No, seriously. I may have just had a horrible string of luck, but I can’t for the life of me figure this shit out. I know some. Actually, I know nearly a dozen at this point – but none of them happen to exist in Ottawa. So what the hell; does our snowy little capital just suck or something?
In case you’re wondering, this angsty rage was brought on by innocent idle curiosity. I was talking with a bunch of people bored as hell at work and when by some twist of the conversation relationships came up, and that lead in a round-about fashion to everyone fumbling about trying to define their ‘type’. I’m not entirely certain how that came up, but if you can’t empathize with random discussions shooting off on odd tangents…well, then, you need to ramble more. I dunno. Maybe it’s just a thing that happens around here.
Anywho; when it came around to me I, like those before me, tried to explain things that don’t easily fit into words. In hindsight I probably should’ve just tried to make a witty one liner or atrocious pun and turned my brain off. Though if I recall it was sometime before ten in the morning, so I guess my sense of humour hadn’t gotten out of bed yet. The result was a big long run on sentence that tried to incorporate a few things;
- Games are cool, so are gamer chicks.
- I like philosophy. Wait. No. That’s stupid, I don’t think anyone says that for this stuff.
- I’m weird in a way that can only be described by pointing out how many medieval weapons I have and how often my friends and I have cut each other open dicking about with them.
- I like the confidence to show said weirdness with abandon.
- Hey, everyone likes writing stories and getting lost in forests, right? Pah, that probably doesn’t even count it’s so common!
It was about that point I realized my co-workers (remember; I work security at Wal-mart) were staring at me like I was describing a particularly rare type of flying hippo. Given I realized I was more or less picturing a female me in the hopes of finding some one bizarre enough to relate to I can’t really blame them.
Y’know, the angsty side is people might be tempted to point out how the rather broad label ‘gamer chicks’ probably isn’t going to include people who like all of those things any more than the rest of women out there. But some inane part of me hopes there’s a person out there who does. And hey, it figures gamer chicks are more likely to contain people who, even if they aren’t as weird as me, can at least tolerate me.
So over the years I’ve kept a casual eye out for that sort of thing. It hasn’t had much success. You may have guessed this from the start of the post. At this point I’m stuck wondering where the hell they all went, or if there’s some secret and magical way I can identify whether people at random fit the mold aside from walking up to women with a Penny Arcade strip printed out, asking “Does this mean anything to you?”.
Now hold on; let me scale things back a bit before you think I’m completely anti-social and mildly retarded.
The intellectual side of my brain is capable of yes, piecing together that a large part of this problem is simply contact and that comes from a lack of just meeting people. And yes, I have friends, and yes we go hang out at the bar when we’re not off maiming ourselves, gaming or getting lost. But when you sit back at a bar and take a long look at all the other people in there it’s really hard to believe any of the people hanging out there would be interested in some one like me.
It’s illogical, I know. I may be weird, and thus somewhat rare – but I’m at that bar too, so it’s not impossible for other people to be there that are like me. I suppose it’s just a daunting task to go get rejected a thousand times to find that one person who’ll be right. Ugh. See, now I’ve typed a bunch I’m running low on rage and it’s just mostly angst left, so I’ll wrap things up.
After all, there’s no argument to be made here. At least not for me; I’d plainly consider it worth it to find an absolutely amazing person who loves the things I do even if I had to be laughed at a thousand times. I just haven’t succeeded yet and find that state to be a RANGST-ish one. There may be a good note to end this on though; I’m looking into a few gaming groups about the Ottawa area and inside Carleton University. If the old hat of the bars are failing me, maybe another track would be better. Who knows? Time will tell.
(Oh, right. I think this is the point where I promise to post if anything comes along, but, yeah… No. That’s not gonna work, and we both know it. I’ll post if I post. Good day.)
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