In my off time today I found myself looking through Carletons courses, the English bachelor of arts in particular. What I discovered isn't of any real shock to me; I know I would enjoy the course as much as the one I'm currently enrolled in and have no real enthusiasm when faced with that fact. I did come to the realization I may not be entirely qualified for it however, which puts me in something of a new albeit equally wretched state.
The blame can be laid solely on my shoulders, though to be more specific I should say my shoulders back in high school. I was never a really engaged student and was rather sure that I was going into either policing or fire fighting at the time, so I felt no need to kee myself in the harder 'university level' courses. See, my school system split it's high school courses into college and university levels, the latter almost always more difficult - though they like to phrase it as more of a difference between applicable and theoretical knowledge. Since in my youth I didn't forsee any sort of university entering my life, I opted to slack off. Appropriately enough enough fooling no one when I said it was to 'raise my grades'.
Hell, if I wanted to improve my grades I would have simply began to give a shit.
What this means is I find myself lacking the required four university level credits, one of which unsurprisingly is English. I'm not certain if my college courses make up for this hole in my learning cycle. The only one that seems pertinent to enrolling looks to be the English course, which I received in a mildly augmented form via Police Foundations. They called it 'communications', perhaps in some vain hope that it wouldn't be skipped as frequently, and said it would relate to policing instead of just being a regular old English class. This proclamation lost a bit of it's effect when my entire class noticed that every other program was signed up with an identical course, regardless fo relation to policing. To say the least of it; yes, it was effectively just a grade twelve English course, but I don't know if the distinction in their own definitions disqualifies me.
I suspect that should communications qualify as the English course the rest won't be an issue. A college diploma should suffice to replace the already generalized secondary requirements. No, the wretchedness of it all stems from time lost. I haven't come very far in life but this issue already highlights the difficulty in going back and restarting where you want to go. I have no doubt that should I not qualify I could spend a single summer taking all four required courses online and smash them out with no difficulty, but this is the very first stages. I don't envy the notion of giving up three or four years of my life to university in the pursuit of the wrong career.
I've still not made any decisions about what intend to do, rooting myself in the middle of the dilemma. I'm just gathering in information to make the inevitable decision a better one. On that note I intend to go into Carleton in a couple days to work through the details of my registration process, once there I'm going to ask a few secondary questions about the English bachelor. I could worse things than make sure that my decision is made with a firm understanding of what I'm getting into, but it's beggining to feel rushed. I feel like I'm running out of time. I don't think I'll ever reach the point where I won't be able to turn things around, but that my indecisiveness could cost me a very great deal.
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